This evening I have spent a fair amount of time pondering what I want to accomplish in the next year. Mostly I want this to be a year of “me,” a year to feed my Ka, and a year to re-find and refine myself, to better myself, and to just make more time for things I want to do.
There are several crafting type projects I would like to start, among them are of course making more little statues, possibly learning to crochet, and I have always wanted to give soap-making a go. I might even pick up some candle-making things again, since I did enjoy that quite a lot, and for the last few years I have kicked around the idea of trying to brew mead, too. Perhaps even try to sell some of the aforementioned crafts to support the hobbies, and to perchance make a little extra spending cash on the side.
I would also like to continue blogging and perhaps take part in either the Kemetic Round Table (if it’s a topic I feel I can contribute something to), or perhaps the ‘pagan blog project,’ if it runs again this year. Generally I want this to be a more productive year that the past few years. Oh, and I would really like to start couponing again in an effort to save money. I have done it in the past, and managed to cut my grocery bill nearly in half. It’s kind of fun to watch the total bill go lower and lower while the cashier rings up those coupons!
I have my reasons for wanting to a year of “me,” back in 2009 I lost a baby half way through pregnancy, then we moved and I had to quit my job working as a CNA. Since the end of 2009 until this past year I have let my depression get the better of me, and I am in fact sick of it controlling my life. I haven’t went back to work because the loss of that baby reminded me how precious life is and so I have spent these past few years being more of a mom to my now 11 year old son. The past 11+ years I was working second shift, out of convenience, as my husband worked day shift. This way we could each use the one and only car we owned, and there was never a need for a babysitter. This, though, has made me feel like I have missed a large chunk of my son’s childhood. I have also put on weight, and become stagnant, and so I also would like to become more active this year as well. I swear I don’t sit around and stuff my face all day, it’s more like inactivity. I will admit that now, but just typing it up in this blog alone is taking more courage than I didn’t have 2 years ago. I’m really sick of letting the depression win. So more activity: walking, perhaps do some lovely yoga, and I may even attempt to go back on a vegetarian diet. I would also like to undertake the Rite of Parent Divination and take the Shemsu vows in Kemetic Orthodoxy. Netjer has really ‘brought me back,’ so to speak, and I feel as though I want to devote more of myself to Netjer and Kemetic Orthodoxy, and the KO community, and beyond. One step at a time though, I’m in no hurry. Hurrying can make one quickly get burnt out, and there are 365 days in a year, so as long as I am alive and kicking there is always plenty of time.
At this point, the fact alone that I am thinking about all these changes I would like to make, is a huge step in the right direction. Depression really sucks, and I have been on the generic version of Zoloft for some time now. I thought I could do it all on my own, but I am so glad I finally listened to well meaning family members who urged me to find a good medication. It clears up the haze of depression, and makes me see more clearly. I am far from ‘better’ but I am getting closer to the dawn of a new day. There is no shame in needing help, but there is plenty of it in staying in that dark pit that depression puts you in. I don’t wanna talk about it, but I would urge anyone to get help instead of staying in that state of being….
Anyhoo!!! Here is to a new year with new possibilities!
Prairies and Pyramids 