Pagan Blog Project 2014: ‘B’ is for Beliefs

Beliefs, what is a belief?
The Oxford US Dictionary describes it an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists; or (belief in) trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.

Belief is not tangible, it’s not something you can hand over to someone, like a warm cup of coffee. Yet, for some, it’s what drives and motivates them, and helps some people get up to face the day.  Of course, there are people who don’t have beliefs, and that’s ok too, but that’s a topic for someone else for another day.

For this blogger, belief is something I cannot shake. When I lost my baby half way through pregnancy, I will admit I was a little agnostic. I was angry, and I was hurt. I still don’t know why that happened to me, or why bad things happen to decent people. Through all the pain I was going through, anger at the world and everything in it, including myself, (I lost the baby because of a blood-clot in the placenta, and I went into preeclampsia. Everyone told me I was fine and not to worry, so by the time I got to the hospital when I really became worried, it was too late. They hooked me up to machines, including the heart-rate monitor across my belly. Through that monitor, I watched my baby’s heart-rate go to zero, and there was nothing I could do. My own heart rate was half of what it normally runs, and my blood pressure was nearly doubled. I was later told by my OBGYN that if I hadn’t went to the hospital I could have died or had a massive stroke.)  I realized at some point that I could never be an atheist. When I was done with my “I hate the world” phase, I found it was a little difficult to come back to believing in something. It wasn’t resistance from any outside source, it was something within myself that was resisting. It took some time but I finally was able to sort out my feelings and become grounded and centered again.

My beliefs have changed very little over the years, even when I was feeling alone and agnostic. Only the vehicle that carried them was a little different, I suppose you could say.  When I finally came to Kemetic Orthodoxy, it was after my period of agnosticism, and I just kind of yelled out into the great unknown (metaphorically, as I was just kind of half-heartedly meditating, and not actually yelling.) that I was still here, and ready to pick up the Torch of Belief again, and forge my way out of the darkness I had been in. In my First Post on this blog, I kind of went over how I got to Kemeticism, so I won’t reiterate it all here. The long and short of it was more or less because of my asking for a sign, or some kind of acknowledgement that I was still welcome in the spiritual world, and I was answered by seeing lots of hawks and other birds of prey. When I began to research what hawks meant in a spiritual way, that pointed me in the direction of Kemetics. I thought the association with Heru-sa-Aset was most profound in meaning to me, and my intuition just kind of grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me a little bit… hahahaha! I needed to believe in something, it’s true that sometimes those beliefs help me get out of bed in the morning.

Well thanks to that personal discovery, I came to begin to learn about Kemetic Paganism, and I had begun asking around about Kemetic Orthodoxy. I hadn’t heard much bad-stuff about it, and the little bit of bad-stuff I did hear just sounded petty and not well-founded. So I decided to give it a go. As I was taking the beginner’s class, I had found that more and more of what I was learning sounded like stuff I already put stock into already. Like the concept of Ma’at (truth, balance, order, law, morality, and justice) and Isfet (injustice, lie, wickedness, uncleanliness, chaos, to do evil, and the uncreated), and many other things which I already held dear. I won’t bore everyone with all those details, but I’m sure you get the general idea. I had had an interest in Ancient Egypt ages ago, but it had been on a shelf in my brain for so long, it had collected dust and was nearly forgotten about. When I first discovered there was more to paganism than just Wicca (not that there is anything wrong with Wicca, it just wasn’t for me.), and I looked for stuff about Kemetic Paganism (not that I knew it was called that, yet, which could have been why I didn’t find much… lol) I gave up and went with what I could find. It wasn’t until much later (maybe, what, 4 or 5 years ago) that I had even heard of Kemetic Orthodoxy, but I was doing the Asatru thing at the time and wasn’t interested.

I suppose you might be wondering why it seems that I “skipped around a lot” with my path. Well, as I said before in the other post (My First Post), I had to research and find things out for myself. I have also been walking a pagan path for over 20 years now, and back in the 1990’s before the internet was a house-hold name, there were very few resources. I also didn’t really know anyone else interested in such things, and I grew up in a small town that had  just as many churches as it did taverns (well, there might have been more taverns than churches), but beyond “Protestant” and “Catholic” I didn’t really know much else existed. I didn’t even know there were Jewish people in the world until 5th or 6th grade when we discussed Hanukkah, because there was a Jewish boy in my grade. My folks just didn’t talk about other religions, and of course they never brought up that it could be my choice to be another religion. So yeah, I was sheltered a little bit (okay, a LOT…) but thankfully I had the will to try to find things out myself. Fortunately, by the time I was in college, I did meet up with some folks who were of different types of Pagan, and I was able to access more on the internet in college in the mid 90’s. I must say though that even as I discovered things, there were still quite a few paths that I didn’t say “OH EM GEE THAT IS SO MEEEE, I MUST CONVERT NOW!” It was only really when something hit me so profoundly and so deeply that I felt I should learn more and delve deeper. Though with the Celtic-type paganism it was a bit more “Well it’s better than nothing…” kind of feel to it, in retrospect at least. It was the most widely discussed kind of path that I was able to find, and I have a lot of Irish ancestry, and so I figured I should stick with that. Though I do have some Irish-Norman ancestry also, so it was also easy for me to rationalize Asatru as a path, since the Normans were descendants of viking conquerors. I have always believed that the Gods will call whom they will, it’s not necessarily due to ancestral blood running in your veins, or the color of your eyes, or whether you have flatfooted feet, or high arches, or a sixth digit on your hand. I don’t know why, honestly, but I’m also not a God. Though, if Gozer the Gozerian ever asked me, yes of course I am! I just have to remember not to cross the streams… lol (FUN FACT: “gozer” means “dude” in Dutch; also another fun fact: “dude” in Africa refers to an ingrown hair on an elephants’ butt, well that’s the legend anyway- I still can’t find definite proof that’s what it means lol.)

Belief is something that should feel like ‘home’ to you, it shouldn’t be forced, and it should feel a lot like an old pair of comfy jeans that are stretched out just right in all the right places, or if you are familiar with “The Big Bang Theory” tv show, it will feel like Sheldon Cooper sitting in “his spot.” It’s a very personal thing, but most will know it when they find it.

As a side note, since I had missed out on the first week of “B”, I’m only going to make this one post on this letter. I had some extenuating circumstances in my personal life that caused me to be unable to post last week.

Pagan Blog Project – Week 2 – A is for Activism

For the modern Kemetic, “activism” could fall under the category of what we call “living in ma’at.” Ma’at is not only the name of a goddess in the Kemetic pantheon, but is also the idea of truth, balance, justice, order, law, and morality. The opposite of ma’at is called isfet. Isfet is defined as chaos, injustice, lies, corruption, evil, and is associated with the serpent Apep, the Uncreated One. It’s considered bad form (and possibly bad luck) to say the name of the serpent, so I’ve used the strikethrough text when using its name.

The idea of this blog post is how you can live in ma’at in your daily life. Activism is one way to achieve this. I don’t mean you have to tie yourself to a tree to save a forest from being cut down (but if that is in your realm of possibilities, and something you want to do, then I won’t tell you not to do it), but for the majority of us with day-by-day lives, who often find that we don’t even have time to relax let alone think of ways to help the environment, or humanity, or insert-name-of-favorite-cause-here, it’s enough that we remember to eat breakfast some days… well that might be over-exaggerating, but I know at least some of you know where I’m coming from. So for the rest of us, we need to ask ourselves how we can incorporate ma’at into our daily lives, without it becoming intrusive if we just don’t think we have the time.

Simple random acts of kindness are always a good thing. Holding the door open for someone, or even smiling at a random stranger are two simple things anyone can do. The midwest recently got slammed with snow, and I know because I live there. In bad weather situations you could check on an elderly neighbor, or even shovel their sidewalk while you’re shoveling your own. As long as you are actively doing your part, and being consciously aware of your actions, and doing so without expecting anything in return, you are doing your share.

Letting someone in need know you are thinking of them, or praying for them. Prayer is a bit tricky. My father in law, who is a very staunch Atheist, will tell you that prayer is silly and a pair of working hands is better than a thousand praying hands. While the latter may be true in some cases, I feel that people do benefit from prayer. It helps to know someone is thinking about you, especially when a person feels alone and deserted. So in the situation of not being able to physically do anything for a person, it’s better to at least let them know you’re thinking of them than doing nothing at all. If a person is clinically depressed though, you should never stop urging them to get medical help, and there are certain situations where, yes, prayer is silly. I’ll leave that up to the reader’s discretion. In Kemetic Orthodoxy, for members of the faith, we have monthly prayer dua chats, where we enter our prayers for a half hour and people pray for all kinds of things. Everything you would expect people to pray for, and give thanks for. I always feel good when I take part. Praying sends good energy out into the universe, and if you believe everything is connected, then that good energy does its job. It’s a form of magic, or as Kemetics call it: Heka.

Those of us who have the luxury of a little extra pocket change may wish to consider monetary donations to local charities: food banks, animal shelters, homeless shelters, even your local library. Of course you can always learn to coupon (which is actually super easy), and if you happen to get a particularly good deal of a free (or near free) item, you could always donate that to a local charity. If you have the time you could always donate your time to any area charity seeking volunteers. You could read to children at a library, offer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter, participate in a big brother or big sister program, or feed people at a soup kitchen (all those things also look good on a resume, too, but don’t do any of these things for the wrong reasons. Be passionate about what you do!). If none of these are options, then that’s ok too. It’s about giving freely, not feeling pressured that you have to do it.

Above all, this kind of activism is about being self-less. Do something where you have to give a little of yourself (even if that is a smile at a stranger) and not expect anything in return. Share the love and brighten someone’s day.

A fantastic website called “Upworthy” posts some amazing and uplifting stories and videos. It’s superb if you need a little lift, or a boost to your faith in humanity.  This video is the perfect example of doing the little things, that make a big difference, and I saw it first on Upworthy:

For more info:
http://www.touregypt.net/godsofegypt/maat2.htm   Ma’at Goddess of Truth, Balance, Order by Catherine Seawright
http://ancienthistory.about.com/od/mgodsandgoddesses/g/051810Maat.htm Ma’at by N.S. Gill
http://www.wepwawet.org/wiki/index.php?title=Ma%27at  Ma’at at wepwawet.org
http://www.roundtable.kemeticrecon.com/heka/ The Kemetic Roundtable’s round of Heka
http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas Random Acts of Kindness ideas
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/35-Little-Acts-of-Kindness  Oprah’s list of 35 Little acts of kindness (I’m not an Oprah Fanatic, but these are good and very simple for anyone to do)

A quick mention …

I wasn’t going to mention it because I didn’t think it was important, but in the interest of some other blogs I have recently followed, I figured it was worth a mention. I have a secondary blog (which came before this one), Ramblings of a Person Called Me by my other moniker “Tranquilgeekgal” which I came up with just for that blog. I intended to post geeky-introverted things, and other mundane topics, but it kind of went by the way-side because I found there was only so much I could post without being repetitive.

Also, one other quick mention, this is my actual scoring from “The Geek Test” lol

And this is my scoring from The Briggs-Meyers-Jung personality test:
INFJ
Introvert(100%)  iNtuitive(25%)  Feeling(25%)  Judging(33%)
    You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (100%)
    You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (25%)
    You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
    You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)

I’m actually somewhat outgoing, but I do enjoy (and sometimes prefer) time by myself, where things are quiet, compared to loud places with loads of people. I tend to use humor as a coping mechanism, and often times I use it as an ice-breaker also. I’m not fond of small-talk, like a lot of introverts, and an abundance of social interaction tires me out, and over-stimulates me (and sometimes causes anxiety). I’m also very quiet until you get to know me. I enjoy blogging because I can just write, and ramble, and get things out of my head.
Another random strange fact about me is that I’m often mistaken for a Canadian. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because some of my best friends are Canadian and I get lumped in with them, but then people are shocked when they find out I’m not Canadian. Really, I don’t know what that’s about, but it makes me giggle. I was also told that I should have been born in Europe somewhere because I would fit in quite well, and I must have been stolen as a baby from some European family and brought to the states and raised… LOL well… ok so that’s weird.. but I dunno it makes me laugh… so I’ll mention it here for funny’s sake. 😉

Pagan Blog Project 2014: Week 1 – ‘A’ is for Akhu

Akhu, or “ancestors” are an important part in my path, and within Kemetic Orthodoxy. When we do Senut, our Ancestors (Akhu) are the first to be honored and offered water to ‘be cooled’. So I thought it was fitting that they should be the first post in my attempt at participating in the 2014 Pagan blog project.

One of the major concerns, it seems, in the practice of ancestor veneration, is the question of “Would my ancestors, who were a totally different religion than me, appreciate being honored this way?” If you are honoring, say, your grandpa who passed away a couple of years ago, who knew you and loved you when he was alive, then I think he would be grateful you are remembering his name in such a positive way. When I was constructing my Akhu shrine, I went through photos, and searched through boxes with mementos in them to find different items that I had collected over the years that were given to me when relatives passed away. When I began to place these objects and photos on my Akhu Shrine, I would use my pendulum to ask each the yes or no question: “Do you want to be represented on my shrine?”. With each time, the answer was always yes. Also, it helps to use a gut-feeling, too. If you just don’t feel like Auntie Edith wants to be there, then go with that feeling. I’ve never had that feeling, though. I have also added people with whom I am not directly related to. I still use my pendulum in the quest to find out if they want to be honored on the shrine-shelf. This reminds me of a quote from the Hávamál, it’s true, even today:

“Cattle die
kinsmen die
all men are mortal.
Words of praise
will never perish
nor a noble name.

– The Havamal; Book of Viking Wisdom”

Everyone wants to leave their mark on the world and be remembered favorably by future generations. I am sure there are some instances where ancestors want to just be left alone, but I have not yet encountered it.

I often leave offerings and tokens of my appreciation and love on my Akhu shrine. I found a garden-gate looking frame that someone had given me, my aunt, great-aunt, grandmother, and grandfather all loved to garden. I arranged their pictures in that frame and I created a silver and gold sculpey poly-clay butterfly, because my Aunt who passed away said to think of her when we saw butterflies and remember how she loved them.  My dad loved collecting rocks and semi-precious stones (a hobby which he passed on to me) so I took some of my favorite stones and arranged them near his picture, I also have the silk flowers from his funeral service. I made a candle when my dad was still alive, and I was experimenting with different items to try to make them visible through the wax. My dad had planted little viola flowers and I plucked a couple of them and used them in the candle. They aren’t super-visible, but I know they are there. Preserved for all eternity. That candle sits there too, and I will never light it.
As far as temporary type offerings, I often leave water and coffee on the shrine. Coffee was never absent at family gatherings throughout my life, and before I came into being. So I’m proud to be able to share it with them when I make myself a cup. Usually when I’m offering coffee, which I like to do once a week when the house is quiet, I sit and have mine with them, at least the first cup. Sometimes I’ll talk to them as though they were coming over for a spot of coffee and we were sitting and chatting over it. That’s just how they were when they were alive, inviting each other over for coffee and such. I miss those days.  Sweets are another thing I like to share a bit of when I am able to offer it. Especially birthday cake or seasonal candy.

As far as guidelines for making your own Akhu, or Ancestor, Shrine, you typically don’t want to put anyone’s picture on it who is still alive. This includes yourself with the deceased person. In one of the pictures I used, I was in the middle of my aunt, great-aunt, and grandmother. I scanned the picture and printed a new copy, I completely cut myself out with scissors and put it in the frame as two-halves, while keeping the original untouched and intact. I also had to edit a photo in MSPaint and I colored over a living person’s face in the background (I couldn’t crop it properly without screwing it up), so just the deceased person’s face was visible, then printed it out. I also used those little brochure things you get from funerals, and those laminated plastic things that the close family members sometimes get from funeral homes at the funeral services. I use a ‘sarcophagus’ incense holder to represent cultural ancestors in Kemet, and 3 little glass ‘stones’ to represent my unknown ancestors. Other than that, it’s really up to your own imagination.

Why should you honor your ancestors? Well just as we can petition the Gods to help us with something we need, we can also ask our ancestors for help as well. Our ancestors know about human-matters better than Gods do. They can also help as a go-between between you and the divine to make sure your message gets properly interpreted and transmitted to where it needs to go to get the most benefit from it. If you kind of know what you want, but don’t know how to word it, you can always ask your Grandma who knew you best, who often knew what you wanted before you even asked, to deliver your message to Whomever could help you best. Our ancestors also have the power to help us out from the Duat as well, not just as messengers. That always reminds me of the line spoken by Obi Wan Kenobi in  Star Wars: “If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” Well, it’s not exactly like that in the Duat, but I’m sure it’s gotta be close.. hahaha 😉 Like the scene at the end of “Return of the Jedi” though, I do think they watch over us and guide us.

All jokes aside, I really feel that our ancestors want to be remembered and be honored respectfully.

Resources:
How do I set up an Akhu Shrine -a thread from the netjer.org Kemetic Orthodox public forums

http://shrinebeautiful.com/ Website with pictures of pagan shrines of many paths.

Kemetic Round Table – Setting up a Kemetic Shrine (not specifically Akhu Shrines, more so about Deity Shrines, but worth a look)

“Akhu” regarding hesitancy in Akhu veneration – netjer.org Kemetic Orthodox public forums thread

   This is my Akhu Shrine, I need to get an updated picture, but it’s pretty much the same aside from a couple new additions to it. My uncle recently passed away, and a good friend’s mom passed away and I put the little brochure from her service on the shrine. I asked both of them with my pendulum if it is ok for them to be there, and they both answered yes, and I had a great feeling about adding them to honor and venerate on my shrine. A special thank you to my ancestors, unknown and known, for making this blog post possible! Senebty!!!